Instead, I'm just doing some homework and going to watch a movie. In my post earlier today, I mentioned finding a "front" photo...and in my computer digging tonight, I found a great picture for the blog. The perfect photo. I had been on vacation with a few friends, and there was a giant wooden frying pan attached to the side of a diner (we were in the middle of nowhere, it was understandable to signal "FOOD!" to travelers). As a joke, I was goaded to stand in front of this sign and pose for a picture, which I did comically.
I totally forgot this picture even existed. I'm pretty sure we didn't even eat there. But this picture perfectly captures:
1) My real size at the time, because VERY few "body shots" exist of me at my highest weight, because I would insist on only shoulders-and-up photos being taken of me.
2) Unhealthy people-pleasing. I didn't want to take the darn picture. But I did to please my friends. It's a characteristic I'm trying to lose along with my weight...because I'm learning to value my own feelings in situations and listen to how I feel.
3) What I thought I looked like in my head was NOT reality - I was bigger. "The camera just 'caught' me looking fat", I would reason, seeing a photo like this.
I'm pairing the photo with a picture of my workout outfit for tomorrow - so I can counteract my past with my future.
